Should Have Listened to My Mother

Show Transcript

Should Have Listened to My Mother -- Oh yea!

[00:00:00] Bob Gatty: Hey, we have something a little different for you guys today. We're not gonna talk about politics. Instead, it's a conversation about the influence of our mom on our lives. In honor of Mother's Day. Our guest is Jackie Tantillo, host of the Should Have Listened To My Mother podcast, which examines who we are because of, or in spite of our mother.

[00:00:27] Jackie's worked in broadcasting as an on-air talent radio, on- camera talent with commercials and industrials, a national and international voiceover talent, voiceover acting instructor and producer and production coordinator for over four decades. She worked as a stringer for the ABC Rock Network and interviewed many charismatic music icons.

[00:00:53] Currently, Jackie's enjoying her conversations with her guests from around the world. On her podcast, everyone has stories to tell of their mother, and it's important to reflect on that personal relationship, whether it's good or bad. The youngest of seven kids, six girls and one boy in an Italian American family.

[00:01:16] Jackie was born overseas in Rota, Spain as her father, a civil engineer, managed a large product for the US Navy. Jackie studied at McGill University, Montreal, Canada, and State University of New York at Plattsburgh, where she graduated with a mass media degree. Jackie Tantillo, welcome to the Lean to the Left Podcast.

[00:01:39] Jackie Tantillo: Thank you so much, Bob. It's a pleasure to be here. 

[00:01:43] Bob Gatty: Thank you. It's a pleasure to have you. I'm looking forward to this conversation. Hey, how did you get started in radio? Talk to me about that. 

[00:01:51] Jackie Tantillo: My mother. 

[00:01:53] Bob Gatty: Your mother. 

[00:01:54] Jackie Tantillo: Her name is Linda. It really was. We had the radio on all the time. Yeah. Whether we are listening at bed at night, she always had talk radio on.

[00:02:04] We always had some, either it was music or the opera, or Top hits. W A B C radio was a huge top 10 radio station and the first bringing us all that great music. Or it was talk radio cuz she was a, talk radio junkie, I guess you could say. And I loved it because as a kid my imagination could just flourish and, create anything and everything.

[00:02:30] Or listening to some specific disc jockeys on the air late at night. It just, Transcends you to another place. I think it's I, visualize it as movies almost . You let your imagination go. So that's, where it began and and it turned out my college radio station was one floor up in my dorm.

[00:02:51] So basically in my second day there, I was at the radio station and I had never been on the air, so I was really nervous and I got a friend who found out somehow, someone I had just met said, you wanna be on the air? And I said, yes, but I'm scared. I'm too nervous. And he literally sat with me. I don't know how we got a, micro or maybe we were just in the production room.

[00:03:16] Yeah. And he literally held my hand, squeezed my hand, cuz I didn't. I didn't know how to use a mic. I didn't know how to do anything. So that was the beginning it's like taking that leap of faith and jumping off a cliff. And if I hadn't done it I, just, I, that's all I ever wanted to do.

[00:03:33] Really? Yeah. That's not true, but for some reason I knew that I wanted to do radio when I went to college, so that was something, and I've been able to do it pretty much my whole life. 

[00:03:43] Bob Gatty: So it was a leap of faith jumping off a cliff. Yeah. And your mother gave you the courage to do that? Did she?

[00:03:52] Jackie Tantillo: Yeah. She she was remarkable. She encouraged all of us to, do what we were passionate about. Okay. As hard as it was for to have all those kids, she really dialed in and she knew who each of us was. And what our strengths and weaknesses were, per se. But family always came first.

[00:04:14] We were always committed to meals that family was first and foremost had, because they had lived overseas for so long, five years or so. We, when they came back to the states our dinners were the same. They were relatively late at night. We had a full meal. We sat and had coffee and fruit afterwards and, had crazy political discussions.

[00:04:39] Any kind of discussions, art, anything. Oh yeah. 

[00:04:43] Bob Gatty: You could never go out. 

[00:04:46] Jackie Tantillo: We couldn't go out while our friends were calling on the phone. We couldn't go out cause we were still eating dinner all the time. Oh yeah, I got it. We weren't your typical American family because they they were adjusting with seven kids.

[00:04:59] They were adjusting to my, son, my sisters their English wasn't really very good anymore and they had to go into public or private high schools and they, were wearing more European clothing so they, it was hard for those, my older siblings to, to adjust. They and I, say over and over again, I got so lucky because they broke through all the barriers for me.

[00:05:24] These are six sisters of my one brother. They, I just listened and I watched Were you the youngest? I'm the youngest, yeah. Okay. And my brother's the second oldest It's girl girl, boy, and then girl is but we we're still very, close. We talk many times a day, sometimes all of us we're very, close.

[00:05:49] And, so yes, my mom, she inspire me or influence me getting into radio. Absolutely. It's funny story because When I got outta college and I started working at different music, radio stations and doing a little bit of news, some street reporting and stuff, she sent my, she said, I wanna your headshot and I want your demo.

[00:06:10] And back then it was a cassette. And she mailed it to W A B C radio in, New York City. And I said, you're crazy. She sent it to the program director and it was probably 10 or more years later when I actually got hired to work at W A B C radio. They never connect the we eventually, I think she got a letter back saying, oh, thank you so much for your submission but I wound up working there for 20 years, so she was really smart and she was onto something.

[00:06:45] She was really, I that's just crazy how that all worked out. But the reason I got that job, not just because I could do voiceovers, because the industry has changed over all these decades, right? It was because I could do the, production work as well, which was really important. Then. A voice talent more often than not would go into a studio and just record.

[00:07:11] But in tv, TV and, radio production, it helped that I knew how to edit and produce everything myself. Okay. So that's an additional, and I think that's still holds true for today. I think it, it's to an advantage for anybody to know. Full spectrum, what they're getting into. I think it, it just gives you a leg up.

[00:07:31] Bob Gatty: Yeah. I see these young kids who are I call 'em young kids. They're in their, they're in their twenties, yeah. Who, are reporters for local TV stations, like here in South Carolina. I live in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. And, I think it's a starting out point for a lot of these Kids that want careers in, TV and so they're always very, young that reporters, the street reporters that these local TV stations hire.

[00:08:06] And, it looks to me like they have to do everything . They show up with the camera on a tripod. They set the camera up, then they turn around and do the interview. Yep. And they gotta do, and then they gotta get in their car and they gotta edit it and get it ready for air which, they do in 20 minutes.

[00:08:31] And to me, that's just amazing. 

[00:08:34] Jackie Tantillo: It's very different. Yeah, it's very different. But you know what this is, they also, those younger kids that we talk about, they this was their, I what kind I equated to a, toy or device that we played all the time growing up. This is what they know. Yeah.

[00:08:50] They edit their own videos all the time. Not to say that it's overwhelming and, not a lot because I know that it is. But yeah it's I like being on both sides of the microphone if I like to be on both sides of the camera, that way I, have a better perspective for an actor. It's really great to have the experience as a director as well, because It, just gives that complete full circle of knowledge.

[00:09:15] Bob Gatty: Yeah. Yeah. Your career is like a highlight reel. With all the work you've done. Voiceover, talk show host, spokesperson, production coordinator. Now you're doing this Mother's podcast. Why are you doing this Mother's podcast? 

[00:09:30] Jackie Tantillo: You know how they say, people say, I woke up in the middle of the night and I got this idea.

[00:09:35] Yeah. That's really what happened. 

[00:09:36] Bob Gatty: That happens to me all the time. 

[00:09:38] Jackie Tantillo: I've interviewed so many musicians and celebrities, right? I was a resident in Saratoga Springs, New York, uhhuh, the concerts. I've interviewed so many people, right? But something about it, it really did come to me in the middle of the night and, okay.

[00:09:55] Moms are human too. And, people forget that. 

[00:09:58] Bob Gatty: Moms are human too. 

[00:09:59] Jackie Tantillo: And it's, a pretty big role. Yeah, it's for sure still. And automatically we're on this pedestal where we're supposed to have everything figured out. Uhhuh. Sometimes I would tell a friend of mine, put the baby books away and just raise your daughter with love you don't have to, it's not all by the book. The book isn't always gonna work. It's an important story no matter who you are, a CEO or an assistant, or Anybody, a farmer, a president, we've all been influenced by our moms, and that's the best part about it, is that our mother, if we had one right, has played a part in our life and you choose to use it to your advantage or disadvantage.

[00:10:49] And what impresses me most, And I hope I'm not jumping ahead to one of your questions. No, Go. What impresses me most about moms is that and, about my guests. Cuz if moms don't get it. I think I speak to so many people where they had a horrific childhood and yet some one person or something, some little voice in their head.

[00:11:15] Or some happenstance or serendipity. Touch their life and they were able to see beyond what they had been given. And that really impresses me. What, how they decided to make that change. And it's not easy, but how to make that change and become who you wanna be. Don't let somebody else steal your light, your inner life.

[00:11:39] Okay. It's 

[00:11:41] Bob Gatty: pretty great. How did your mom influence your priorities and what you've done on your life? 

[00:11:46] Jackie Tantillo: In many ways and, as a number of my guests have pointed out, my dad played a huge role in our life as well. Okay? But because my podcast is about moms, right? They, were a tag team, the two of them, right?

[00:11:59] They were great. They were madly in love. 

[00:12:02] Bob Gatty: And they must have been, they had seven kids. 

[00:12:05] Jackie Tantillo: It was pretty crazy but we were all pretty good. A couple of my sisters eloped but 

[00:12:12] Bob Gatty: wait, hey, wait a 

[00:12:13] Jackie Tantillo: minute. Wait a minute. My father.

[00:12:15] Bob Gatty: How, old on wedding, how old was your oldest sibling when you were born?

[00:12:20] Jackie Tantillo: There's about 13 years between the oldest. Oh, okay. There's the older four and then there's the younger three. There's a bit gaps here and there. My mom lost a couple of ba, two other baby girls. 

[00:12:31] Bob Gatty: Oh my goodness. She lost two girls. Oh my. Yeah. There would've been nine. 

[00:12:35] Jackie Tantillo: Yeah. Wouldn't, might be great. Oh, wow.

[00:12:38] That'd be great.

[00:12:40] Bob Gatty: How many kids you have. I have two boys. Okay. You have two boys. Two boys. So, you didn't take after your mom in terms of the 

[00:12:49] Jackie Tantillo: I did not. Let's see, I'm trying to think. My sib, my siblings have two girls or three girls. Not all my siblings have children. Oh yeah, there's, yeah, there's more girls than boys for sure.

[00:13:01] And now the next generation, my niece has just started having babies and we have two boys now in the family, so that's really fun. 

[00:13:08] Bob Gatty: So you have a pretty big family. 

[00:13:10] Jackie Tantillo: It's pretty big. Yeah, it's great. And I grew up in a town with all Irish Catholic and the Irish Catholic primarily, and everyone had 8, 10, 12, 15 kids.

[00:13:22] Ah-huh. And it's great cuz all of the siblings matched up in age, so we all known each other Yeah. Through the different age groups. Our religion, our spirituality was very important. And, that was We still carry it whichever way we've gone with it today, it still is a big part of who we are.

[00:13:43] I have issues with with the church that I was following, but I don't wanna get into that. 

[00:13:50] Bob Gatty: Sure. I understand. Yeah. 

[00:13:52] Jackie Tantillo: The essence of what my mom taught us was not so much the politics of a church, but the essence of who Jesus was and, all that kind. She would go into confession and spend 45 minutes in a discussion with the priest while we were running around the pews of the church.

[00:14:11] And she's given the priest a hard time because she didn't agree with him.. So that's my, 

[00:14:17] Bob Gatty: she'd be arguing with a priest in confession. 

[00:14:20] Jackie Tantillo: She would, yeah. Yeah, she was great. And that's how. I, my perspective of religion and faith were formed based on, she stood up for what she believed in and she she wasn't by the book, she included everyone.

[00:14:36] We were, it was an inclusive house and she didn't believe in these rules and regulations. So she voiced her opinion and when they saw her coming, I think they would run. She would go to mass every morning, all that kind of thing. We went to parochial schools, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:14:52] But so that was significant. She was an artist, she was brilliant. She was reading all the time. It was important for her to be surrounded and have us surrounded by things that were beautiful. And I always stress, it's not monetarily, but it had to have peace and beauty in your environment.

[00:15:14] Whether it was just a room of plants or the sun coming in or, just the environment. It was very important for it to be calm and peaceful and and art, she loved art. She was an artist as well. She designed clothing. 

[00:15:31] Bob Gatty: What kind of an artist was she? 

[00:15:33] Jackie Tantillo: She was always studying. She would do still lifes when she was first starting. Okay. But she was very free-spirited and, open, and they weren't abstracts, but she was always drawing, whether it was her kids, we grew up on the water. Okay. So she would draw us in boats or natural settings. 

[00:15:53] Bob Gatty: Oh wow. Do you do that?

[00:15:55] Jackie Tantillo: I don't, I have chosen to do my artwork using my voice, I guess my auditory abilities. But everyone in my family is either an artist, an animator, a designer, a landscape architect, pretty much in the arts. Okay. So, she's touched all of our lives in, in so many ways. 

[00:16:18] Bob Gatty: So what did you learn from her that translates into how you treat your own kids?

[00:16:22] Jackie Tantillo: Oh boy. Everything family. Family is the most important thing. Uhhuh. It's really important. And treat others as you wanna be treated. She was always, finding somebody who was in need of a little bit of extra cash or something. No matter where she went. She was constantly giving out her, little dollars and things really of people. Oh, she was an empath to grand proportions and she She was multilingual.

[00:16:57] She spoke English, Spanish, French, Italian, and some Portuguese. So no matter my parents, because they had lived overseas, they would sometimes go back to Europe during the winter. And she was always meeting people and, helping people, and giving to people, whether it was giving them rides or giving them food or 

[00:17:15] Bob Gatty: You're multilingual too 

[00:17:17] Jackie Tantillo: I've, studied French and Italian. Spanish. She taught us, kept speaking to us in Spanish when we were little and I've studied it, but then I never get to use it, so it goes to the wayside. Yeah, I understand. My ear is pretty good. I can understand it better than I can speak it.

[00:17:35] So that's another thing that she gave us. Yeah. As the languages. Yeah. So we go to, we definitely travel to Europe. That's a big part of our family to do it. As well.

[00:17:44] Bob Gatty: So when it came to dealing with your kids when they got into trouble, what lessons did you learn from your mom in terms of how to handle that kind of stuff?

[00:17:59] Jackie Tantillo: We never got into trouble. 

[00:18:01] Bob Gatty: Oh, bullshit. I don't believe seven kids can grow up in a family and nobody gets into trouble now. That's bullshit.

[00:18:10] Jackie Tantillo: We, 

[00:18:10] got they didn't find out about they, you know what? They trusted us. Ah-huh. They really trusted. Okay. And they gave us, they did give us a lot of freedom, so We didn't revolt and yeah we, got into trouble, but a lot of, if we got into trouble, they didn't really know about it.

[00:18:27] We were really good kids. They, the trust was huge and we always like God, I wish they would just yell at us instead of saying how disappointed they were. That was the biggest thing. So in raising my boy, our boys, my husband and I again, are a great team together.

[00:18:47] I'm very lucky we're both on the same page morally and, socially and, discipline the way we wanna discipline. We're both coming from the same place, which is what my parents did. Okay. But my dad, if you ever pissed off my dad. Yikes. He worked every day or occasionally he would have to travel for his, jobs.

[00:19:11] Sure. Running engineering jobs. But. I don't did we get a smack with a broom or something? Once maybe when she was sweeping the kitchen floor. I don't smack with a broom. We didn't get hit. We didn't 

[00:19:26] Bob Gatty: smack with a broom 

[00:19:27] Jackie Tantillo: isn't something maybe you just don't 

[00:19:29] Bob Gatty: remember. You smack your kiss with a broom.

[00:19:32] Jackie Tantillo: No, I think she was literally sweeping the kitchen floor and she had, oh God we, had to clean her house every single weekend talking from the white molding down to oiling the wood floors, and it would take us all weekend. We'd have the New York Metropolitan Opera on every Saturday on the radio over cleaning this house.

[00:19:52] We, 

[00:19:54] Bob Gatty: that's Italian clean. That's Italian clean, huh? 

[00:19:59] Jackie Tantillo: She wasn't gonna do it. She had too much other stuff to do. That's why so many families have a lot of kids. They need them to work the farm or to help with the family business. We were really good kids. They took us everywhere we traveled, we would drive to Canada, nine of us in a station wagon.

[00:20:16] We, they brought us to beautiful hotels because they, expect, that's how we were raised 

[00:20:23] Bob Gatty: you were lucky it wasn't. You were really lucky. You had a great childhood. You were so lucky. 

[00:20:28] Jackie Tantillo: Sounds like to me. I'm telling you. Wow. My life has just been we say it to each other every day.

[00:20:35] We like pinch ourselves and either text or speaking to our sisters. We have so much and we've, had so much. We didn't live extravagantly as kids. We didn't have what everybody else had. And we were, again, we were living a little bit of that Europe, a lot of the European effect.

[00:20:53] So we felt like we just wanted to be Americans. But now I, now, I don't regret it at all. What they did, they really stuck to their principles and that was huge. We didn't have the. Cell phones. We didn't have any of that. We had one TV in our house. Yeah. And we weren't supposed to watch, but we always would.

[00:21:11] When my mom was out.

[00:21:12] Bob Gatty: My, my mother was very, religious. My father in his younger days was a minister, a Protestant minister. So I grew up as a preacher's kid. Wow. All right. 

[00:21:26] Jackie Tantillo: Did you run away from it? 

[00:21:28] Bob Gatty: Yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. And but my mom she she had a tough time. She raised four kids and as a preacher's wife, it was a difficult, that was a difficult thing for her.

[00:21:47] She had difficulty with what she was expected to do and mean she had, besides being the the goody two shoes wife of the minister of a church. She was also the piano player. She taught Sunday school. She had to do all these things and then come home and prepare food for the family on Sunday. And then there was a Sunday night service in another church, cuz he had two churches. Wow. So she had it tough and in the four of us took advantage of her, I think a little bit. 

[00:22:30] Jackie Tantillo: Yeah. Where are you in the order? 

[00:22:32] Bob Gatty: I'm oldest the kid. You're the oldest. I'm the oldest, yeah.

[00:22:36] Jackie Tantillo: And that's really hard. You're in the spotlights on you all the time. Yeah. You gotta make it all, make everything Gotta be right. You gotta look right, you gotta, 

[00:22:44] Bob Gatty: oh I remember my brother and I used to have to wear our little white suits every Sunday to go to church and we had to sit in a very front row and we were supposed to set the example for the other kids in the church.

[00:23:02] And we didn't do a very good job of that. 

[00:23:05] Jackie Tantillo: We were terrible in church. Yeah. We were laughing all the time. Yeah. We would go to mass every morning with her. Yeah. Really. And then we didn't even go to Monday, night, Navina, we, our friends would come with us cuz they thought it was so cool and we'd be giggling and laughing.

[00:23:20] And she was so immersed in her prayers. She never gave us the evil eye. Nothing really. She just, 

[00:23:27] Bob Gatty: oh. I used to have to go to Sunday morning Sunday school. Sunday Morning Church. Sunday Afternoon Church. Oh, exhausted. And Sunday Night Church every week. Plus two prayer meetings in the middle of the week, and I got to the point where, don't talk to me about religion.

[00:23:53] Period. Yeah. 

[00:23:55] Jackie Tantillo: Yep. Yeah. And there are so many kids that feel that exact same way. Yeah. No matter what you, no matter where, what house of faith you worshiped in. 

[00:24:04] Bob Gatty: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now, you know what I, saw that you like to give back. You're involved with a bunch of organizations. You mentored kids, you still mentor kids.

[00:24:16] Jackie Tantillo: I'm, doing more teaching now. Yeah. And I'm not, right now, no, not mentoring, but I'm always looking for projects. I, volunteer with the food pantry and all that kind of stuff. So that's where a concentration is for me. But I teach the, it's amazing the, a lot of young kids wanna take voiceover lessons and things like that.

[00:24:39] Bob Gatty: A lot of kids wanna do what? 

[00:24:41] Jackie Tantillo: A lot of kids like to take voice. They're, learning to use their voice. Whether they wanna do caricature things for video games or whatever. Okay. But for six, seven years at, my boys' elementary school, I was involved with wrangling 600 kids in their annual play.

[00:24:58] Okay. And I worked at the school library. I've done a lot and I will continue. As soon as I find my next project, I'll jump on it, but right now, not working with kids. 

[00:25:07] Bob Gatty: Okay. It, just occurred to me you're working with these kids over the years. Do you see a sense of hope for the future?

[00:25:17] Jackie Tantillo: I think about it all the time with my own children, right? And my nieces ones removed or whatever that next generation is called. Yeah, I'm an optimist. My glass is definitely half full. So even those, there's a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world. I do. Again, I think it begins with the grounding that they have at home with their family. I think that's really important. I, think that there's obviously issues, mental health issues that are surfacing now. Have they always been there to this extent and we have just ignored it. That's part of the, problem.

[00:25:59] But, There is help out there if you want it. And I know that sounds cliche, but parents have to, really get to know your, their kids is I think one of the biggest issues. You, really need to spend time with your children and that family dinner is, one place to start. That's for sure.

[00:26:21] Bob Gatty: So well that seems to be a thing of the past in so many families, family dinners. 

[00:26:26] Jackie Tantillo: Sure. When my younger son was a huge gamer and he was on the computer for hours and hours and hours. Oh, that was the ongoing thing. It turned, he got a partial scholarship to college. Really? 

[00:26:42] Bob Gatty: From being a gamer for game.

[00:26:44] Jackie Tantillo: Yeah. So it might come back to bite you sometimes. Parents we're, not that smart all the time. But our thing was you have to have balance in your life. Yeah. You've got to, whether you're an adult or a kid. Yeah. And that's the hardest thing. It's so addictive. I, don't have a TikTok account or I, just started watching some reels on Instagram.

[00:27:08] I've never spent the, and all of a sudden it's one in the morning so I'm, it's hard for me, it's not hard for me to relate cause I totally get it. It's addictive. And my son was also having problems with bullying and he didn't fit in. He wasn't that sports guy. He was very athletic, but that wasn't his calling.

[00:27:28] And he wasn't socially in with the, cool kids that peak in high school. So he connected with kids all over the world. Really. And he said he learned. And he told this, so he said this to, to Rick, my husband. My husband and I, we were driving to Chicago where he went to school, where he was going to school.

[00:27:47] And he said I actually learned how, figured out how fortunate I am to have a family that I am by meeting the kids that I met my friends online and hearing the stories of what their childhood and upbringing has been. Wow. But we're almost went off the road. We're like did he just, say that to us?

[00:28:09] Sure, yeah. And we're screaming at him to get off. Yeah. But he's actually like a really great therapist for his friends because we went, we wound up going to family therapy for a while cuz it was just, he was going down a place, he didn't wanna leave his room, he didn't wanna go to college. Now he's like running the gaming program pretty much at Roosevelt University.

[00:28:31] He's involved with social media. He has a job. He shoots photography for all the, athletic, the sports for his school. And he found a passion, but a way to turn it around that it's, productive and it's more healthy. It, can be a rough thing, but we never we're very lucky.

[00:28:50] We got very lucky. 

[00:28:51] Bob Gatty: Hey, talk to us a little bit about your podcast. Do you wanna tell us about maybe a couple of highlights that you've, 

[00:28:57] Jackie Tantillo: I'd love to. Sure. Should have listened to my mother. It's a weekly show. You can find it wherever you listen and basically, are you who you are today because of, or in spite of your mother?

[00:29:10] And I interview anybody and everybody, whether you are upper middle class, upper class, lower middle class. And it doesn't, I don't care who you are. If you have a story to share where you had a turning point in your life or your mother influenced you one way or another. To share these stories, I think is really important.

[00:29:35] It's our oral history. Native Americans and pioneers, they, their livelihood, whether it was the Greek mythology, these stories transcended for generations and I don't think we really take the time to talk about what our parents went through, or our grandparents went through. How, did they become who they are?

[00:29:57] How did they give us what they gave us or didn't give us? What was their struggle? I interview anyone from attorneys to artists, to therapists to healers to public speakers to sea captains. One of my, earlier in my first season, I interviewed a Canadian gentleman who's a sea captain on a lake freighter in Lake Michigan, and he travels back and forth from Montreal.

[00:30:24] To, I guess to Michigan or maybe Michigan and what it's like out at sea for months at a time and calling his mom on the radio. 

[00:30:35] Bob Gatty: I wondered where the mom came in on that story. 

[00:30:38] Jackie Tantillo: Yeah. And yeah. Oh she, was a wonderful woman. They had nothing. They were from a large family. They lived in this little house and he actually owns the house that he grew up in, and he would call her on the radio, I think, like every day just to talk to her and let her know that he was okay.

[00:30:57] And the stories go on and on. Sure. But either she's that rock that you needed or she was a complete mess. Abusive. I've had parents that have put their kids out to sex slaving. You can't believe the stories that are out there. But again, I'll say that it's remarkable how people can turn their life around.

[00:31:21] Bob Gatty: What can people learn by listening to your podcast, Jackie? 

[00:31:25] Jackie Tantillo: It's a lot about humanity. And accepting. It's hard cuz as your mom, you don't think that she's allowed to make mistakes. And often I hear she did the best that she could with what she had. So what preceded her?

[00:31:41] She, they passed down. And, sometimes that gets me really mad cause I don't think any child should be subject to abuse or neglect of any kind. Yeah. But. People have, people are amazing. They're resilient. They can overcome anything. And and that's where, the optimism comes in for the younger generation.

[00:32:02] But these people can re, you can change your life. Okay. Okay. 

[00:32:06] Bob Gatty: Now, next Sunday's Mother's Day. Jackie, as what's your message for all the moms out there and for those who plan to honor their mothers? 

[00:32:15] Jackie Tantillo: Regardless of what anyone in your family will do for you or not do for you. You need to take the time to celebrate yourself and to love yourselves.

[00:32:28] I'm constantly working on loving myself more instead of prioritizing everybody else. But I think moms have to love themselves. If they get disappointed that they didn't get the gift they wanted on Mother's Day, it won't matter because if you've taken the time to love yourself already, you've given yourself that biggest gift. Okay. I think that's really important to take the time to love ourselves.

[00:32:51] Bob Gatty: Okay. Okay. Listen, thank you so much for being with us. Is there anything else you'd like to add, Jackie? 

[00:32:59] Jackie Tantillo: No I, just wanna say how it was a pleasure to meet you and to speak with you and, have this wonderful conversation, not just bullet points or one person speaking more than another.

[00:33:11] I love the fact that it's a conversation. 

[00:33:13] Bob Gatty: Yeah. And it's fun. Isn't it fun?

[00:33:15] Jackie Tantillo: Getting to know one another? It's fine. Yeah. It's, and your imagination hopefully with stories that we shared today, you can envision the craziness in our house, or you, I can see you in the front row with your white suit on and your brother nudging your brother and, you're trying to fall asleep.

[00:33:32] My imagination just was so vivid. 

[00:33:34] Bob Gatty: I bet you there's one thing you wouldn't imagine, and that would be the two of us sitting in the front row in this little church with all these people. Oh, and when the evangelists, my, my dad used to have these evangelists come every so often and they would, every night for a week they would get up and do their Hells Fire and damn nation preaching.

[00:33:57] And, one, one night my brother and I just had it up to here and we both brought little whistles, and when the, when we thought his time was up. We blew the whistles. 

[00:34:12] Jackie Tantillo: And did you get in trouble? 

[00:34:14] Bob Gatty: We got beat. My dad had an army belt and he liked to use it. Oh yeah. Yeah. It was not a good thing to do.

[00:34:24] And 

[00:34:25] Jackie Tantillo: I thought you probably had fun for that flash second there. 

[00:34:29] Bob Gatty: We did, but my, mom was, she was not happy either. Yeah. So anyway listen, thanks again. I really appreciate you being with us. 

[00:34:39] Jackie Tantillo: Thank you. Happy Mother's Day, everybody. 

[00:34:40]